I thought I had done everything right to ensure successful breastfeeding of my first baby, a son named Christian. I attended some La Leche League meetings while I was pregnant, talked to friends, read books, knew about the benefits of breastfeeding and was excited about nursing my son. After making it through the first few rocky weeks with the help of a lactation consultant and several friends, my baby and I had smooth sailing for about two months. I made several mistakes later, however, that seriously undermined our breastfeeding. He got breast milk, most nursing and some expressed milk, for about 5 months, much less than the year I was hoping for. I am thankful for the time we had but wished I would have done some things differently and definitely know what I won’t do next time.

1. I won‘t: Try to lose weight too quickly. I was ready to fit back into some of my clothes. Plus, I must admit, all those celebrities who look great and are (supposedly) breastfeeding made me think I could workout 5 days a week, lose a lot of weight quickly and still breastfeed. I was wrong. After Christian’s two month checkup, I decided to start working out. I did an hour of strength training and aerobic workout 3-5 times a week. I’d read the low end of the calorie intake for breastfeeding moms is about 1800, and so I stuck to that. Well, I lost 2 pounds the first week, rejoiced, lost another two the next week, and another two the next. It was at that point we noticed Christian was hungry every 1 1/2 hours for days, more than just a growth spurt, cried after nursing like he was still hungry, and had even lost a few ounces. Obviously, I was losing too much weight too quickly. I stopped exercising immediately and started eating a far healthier 2200-2500 calories a day. The damage was already done, however, and this began my struggles with low milk supply. At a doctor’s advice we started supplementing with formula after each feeding.

What I will do next time.

I’ll try to eat healthier foods during pregnancy so I don’t gain unnecessary weight. I will lose no more than a half pound a week while breastfeeding. It’s just not worth it. I will buy a few new clothes at my nursing size (1-2 sizes larger currently) and celebrate my fuller body and breasts, knowing I am nourishing my baby. I can work hard later if needed to take off any remaining weight.

2. I won’t: Be too ready to supplement with formula. It’s a slippery slope. Because of my low milk supply and Christian’s losing weight we supplemented a little. However, I should have started pumping and working to get my supply back up so that this was not a permanent issue. For every ounce of formula, my body learned to make that much less milk, further lowering my milk supply. But bottles did seem easier sometimes, and I wasn’t as diligent as I should have been about avoiding them once we started. And once Christian became used to the more frequent bottles given by mom, instead of the occasional bottle of expressed milk given by dad, he began one of three nursing strikes, during which he refused to nurse because the breast is more work than the bottle. Also, the formula made him constipated, which led to him eating less, which led to - you guessed it - my body making even less milk!

What I will do next time.

Try absolutely everything else first before using formula. This means being more aware of my baby’s weight and noticing if he seems constantly hungry to try to fix any problems before they become serious. I will not have formula (all those free samples) in the house - I can always go to the store in a true emergency, but it will make it that much harder. If I do have to supplement I will use my supplemental nursing system (see Medela.com), which keeps the baby at the breast, instead of giving him a bottle. I will only have others give him a bottle, not me, to hopefully avoid nursing strikes. I will pump and store breast milk (even though it seems like a pain when everything is going well) so that I’ll have a good supply in case of low supply due to sickness or another reasons for a few days.

3. I won’t: Pick an uninformed pediatrician. This is tricky. Most pediatricians will say they are in favor of breastfeeding. Are they really? Our doctor was nice but gave us inaccurate and harmful information. He said: told us at the 2 week checkup not to feed our baby more than every 2 - 2 1/2 hours because he’d get in the habit of snacking. The truth: Especially at the beginning, it is important to feed on demand, even if that’s every hour, because it builds up a healthy milk supply. Also, the baby might want to stack or cluster feed at night, almost continuously, or at least more frequently, before going to bed. There is no reason to limit the baby’s time at the breast, especially at first. He said: Make him sleep all night, ignoring cries for up to 5 hours at night, at 10 weeks. (We ignored this advice.) The truth: All babies sleep through the night at different ages, and night nursings help milk supply. There is no need to try to end night nursings, unless the mom is just exhausted. There were many other inaccuracies that led me to find another doctor. I called the hospital and asked the lactation consultants who they would recommend. We have switched to a fabulous doctor.

What I will do next time.

Stick with our new doctor. Some questions to ask a potential doctor:

While a doctor may sound good in the initial consultation, be ready to trust your own instincts, research things on your own, be informed and don’t be afraid to switch doctors if you feel your efforts to breastfeed are being undermined instead of supported.

4. I won’t: Try to implement a schedule. I knew feeding on demand was important at the beginning, but I thought all babies ended up on pretty much the same schedule by three or four months. I thought we were doing something wrong when we weren’t on a three and half or four hour schedule like so many people I knew. While this type of strict schedule may work for them, I realized not only does it not fit with my parenting style, it seriously hurt my milk supply even more. Even though I always fed Christian when he was hungry, I would try to stretch it from his natural 2 1/2 hours to 3 or 3 1/2 because I thought I was supposed to. Since then I’ve talked to friends who fed their babies every 1 1/2 to two hours up to 4 or 5 months. I realized that’s ok.

What I will do next time.

I will feed my baby on demand. If he is hungry every 2 hours, we’ll eat every two hours. I do like keeping a semi-consistent nap routine, based on when he’s tired, but I will feed when he’s hungry. I read something on the internet that was good - it talked about how in our culture we think of breastfeeding as a major event in the day, and we like schedules, and we like to schedule our day around feedings. But if breastfeeding is a minor event that we can do wherever we are, fit in in 5 minutes here or there, and do on the go, it’s not such a big deal to feed on demand. I like that approach. So I will work to be more comfortable breastfeeding discreetly in public so that it is a much more natural part of my life. And I can now say this, it is so, so much easier than messing with bottles!

5. I won’t: Try to do too much too soon. When Christian was between two months and four and a half months of age, we took a 20 hour car trip to Florida, flew to Texas, and had at least three houseguests. This was crazy. There was no reason to stress out my body with less rest, less opportunity to nurse or pump (since I was trying to increase my supply at that point), and more of a chance to get sick. (I did, twice.)

What I will do next time.

Not travel for the first six months, unless we really need to. No insane car trips, no houseguests that can’t wait (close family is fine - I don’t have to clean house for them). This baby will only be a baby for a short time, there is no reason to try to be super mom.

Hopefully these tips on what not to do will help you be successful in your breastfeeding efforts. I thank God for the precious time I was able to nurse Christian and pray it will go even better next time because of what I‘ve learned. Here’s to your breastfeeding success!